Scattered Thoughts on a Scattered Shore

I want to tell you how we are all ferrying souls–our own–across great seas. I want to tell you how the seaweed write silent haiku and how my favorite words in the English language are flotsam and jetsam

~from my journal, 2014

The wings of a seagull’s body, floating among rocks in the tide pool, were among an extraordinary amount of beautiful remains scattered on the shore by the tides today. I felt as though I had stumbled upon an impromptu charnel ground and marveled at the sheer volume of bones, as well as the legs and shells of crabs and other sea creatures, and innards strewn about.  I came upon a starfish in very shallow water and bent over to pick it up and return it to the ocean.  Before I could move it, I heard it ask me to let it be and in that split second I understood that it was deciding to transition.

As I walked further the guides showed me how literal our dismemberment and re-memberment is at this time–the body releasing physically as well as energetically.  We are being re-arranged, cell by cell, atom by atom. It is no small undertaking to re-build a body while still inhabiting it, but this is the process we are living as we become more fully crystalline.

Earlier in the day I had facilitated a small group and two women had easily released old implants that were put in place to keep them from experiencing the fullness of connection with others.  I hadn’t reflected on the process, particularly, but when I saw the state of the afternoon beach–and the volume of debris being recycled by the earth–I more fully comprehended the magnitude of what has been releasing in the collective these last two weeks.

Again and again, the ocean has shown me how it recycles her dead.  She holds onto nothing. Everything is released into the original flow and worn away until it is dissolved into the imperceptible.

As I walked even further, the next stretch of beach was clean–barely touched by debris. But it was there that I began to notice a smattering of rocks that I had never seen before–translucent and shimmering in the sun. I realized, then, I was being shown the fruition of this intense period of release: the rocks–solid by appearance, seemed illuminated from within.  Our bodies–and our planet, too–really are becoming light.

I was asked to write about this, especially for those of you who are still feeling mired in the release.  Focus now, as often as you can, at the shimmering in the sun. Watch the light dance–on the snow, on the water, or even just on the window glass.  Know it is the truest reflection of all that you carry in you. Of all that you are.


Hollowed and Whole: Solstice Gateway

As I felt the Solstice gateway open these last two days, I’ve been all over the map emotionally and energetically: from clear, bright, and expansive to bowled over–seemingly out of nowhere–by the release of cellular memories of (perceived) abandonment, betrayal, and separation. Yesterday I searched for the words to describe all I feel is happening in the collective with this passage, but the words didn’t come. Last night, as I watched the sunset at the ocean with a friend, fierce winds roared off the Pacific. Sand blew in our eyes and mouths but, with our eyes watering, we laughed. We were exhilarated! We could feel the new energies blowing in and they are  s t r o n g.  All evening, as we ate dinner, drank wine, and marveled at our lives, I heard the words emanating from my heart, “You were made for this. You were made for this.”

This morning, as I woke, the words came. Some are new and some are old and some aren’t even mine. But here, at this magnificent gateway, they blend together:

A cacophany of Mourning Doves just landed on the upstairs deck of the house. The flap of their wings was so loud I thought a helicopter was hovering. I opened the door and they darted about in a haze of confusion–not sure whether to stay or go. Grief and love, release and gratitude, in a haze of gray wings, arriving and departing simultaneously.

~from my journal, December 2013

The whole of my life summed up in these words
I used to be raw
Then I was cooked
Now…on fire


I stand with you at this gateway,  f i e r c e  like that wind and almost equally invisible, save for its effect on the world. Each of us, through the process of elimination:

h o l l o w e d  and  w h o l e  

all at once. Holograms of light, shining in the darkest of days.

We were made for this. We were made for this.




I Am Not What I Am

I am not what I am. My essence escapes me. Here “A” does not equal “A.” It is a durable achievement of existential philosophy to remind us that we should not think of our past as definitely settled, for we are not a stone or a tree. In other words, my past changes every minute according to the meaning given it now, in… this moment.

~Czeslaw Milosz

Since the past is unreal and the future is unreal, all your thoughts are about nothing.

~Byron Katie

At certain junctures–and particularly at crucial junctures–awakening can look and feel a lot like a death review. Ghosts of many Christmases past will visit, but when we recognize them as such, they self-liberate. However, when the ghosts visit–including ghosts of ourselves–there can be such strong emotion and bodily sensations that accompany them, we will mistake them as “real,” delve back into the old stories, and become attached again.  It is very important to feel whatever feelings arise, but it is equally important not to spiral downward in trauma response–particularly in these energies, which magnify whatever we put our attention on.  Reach out for appropriate support and assistance if you find yourself in trauma.

Many of us are finding ourselves at a very powerful threshold now–our old life has become uncomfortable, yet we equate a certain safety with it and often do not sense where it is we are called to–or who or what we are called to be. We have doubts and questions.  In the midst of all this, even the least-sensitive of us are feeling the extreme polarity the “external” world is revealing.  What’s happening in our political and social structures worldwide is mirroring the pendulum swings we often feel within ourselves now.

You’re not going crazy nor are things are getting worse.  But the old energetic patterns of duality are being exposed for what they are.  For those of you who have been consciously shifting for a while now, know that so much of what you’re experiencing as disorientation is actually just part of your consciousness (particularly, the denser body consciousness) being a little slow to recognize the new energetic templates that have replaced the old.  You really have completed an extraordinary transition–it’s just taking a while to realize it and learn how to work with the new energetic template that is you!  I have found myself bouncing around and among a wide variety of dimensional experiences, more quickly than ever before!  At times this has been distressing and other times exhilarating.  Be patient and gentle with yourself as you get your sea legs.

One of the most amazing opportunities in these high-vibrational frequencies is the opportunity for major breakthroughs, accelerated personal clearing, and healing. If you would like support to unravel and release the old energies that are coming up for “death review,” and guidance about stepping into the new, I would love to hear from you. It is a very potent time!

With surrender of the old, deep peace and joy emerge.

For the month of December I am celebrating my anniversary working professionally as an energetic intuitive and offering sessions at my original rate of $100/session.  Contact me directly to schedule an appointment:


no-self portrait, 2011