As I felt the Solstice gateway open these last two days, I’ve been all over the map emotionally and energetically: from clear, bright, and expansive to bowled over–seemingly out of nowhere–by the release of cellular memories of (perceived) abandonment, betrayal, and separation. Yesterday I searched for the words to describe all I feel is happening in the collective with this passage, but the words didn’t come. Last night, as I watched the sunset at the ocean with a friend, fierce winds roared off the Pacific. Sand blew in our eyes and mouths but, with our eyes watering, we laughed. We were exhilarated! We could feel the new energies blowing in and they are s t r o n g. All evening, as we ate dinner, drank wine, and marveled at our lives, I heard the words emanating from my heart, “You were made for this. You were made for this.”
This morning, as I woke, the words came. Some are new and some are old and some aren’t even mine. But here, at this magnificent gateway, they blend together:
A cacophany of Mourning Doves just landed on the upstairs deck of the house. The flap of their wings was so loud I thought a helicopter was hovering. I opened the door and they darted about in a haze of confusion–not sure whether to stay or go. Grief and love, release and gratitude, in a haze of gray wings, arriving and departing simultaneously.
~from my journal, December 2013
The whole of my life summed up in these words
I used to be raw
Then I was cooked
I stand with you at this gateway, f i e r c e like that wind and almost equally invisible, save for its effect on the world. Each of us, through the process of elimination:
h o l l o w e d and w h o l e
all at once. Holograms of light, shining in the darkest of days.
We were made for this. We were made for this.